Whorelore: The Magical World of Warcraft Porn
Welcome to a dusty fantasy land of deep-throating elf ears, masturbating trolls, and chain-mail-wearing porn stars.
by Bonnie Ruberg
March 2nd, 2008 8:43 PM
Pornography director Dez is standing on an outdoor set in the L.A. hills, on the first nice day in months. He's surrounded by actresses who're naked except for some strategically placed sheet armor. “It’s been like thirty degrees here,” he laments over the phone, expressing concern about his naked employees trying to “work” in the cold. “Finally we can shoot.”
What Dez (his industry name) is so anxious to film is the second episode in a new season of Whorelore: Swords, Sorcery, and Sex—his web-porn series based on the immensely popular massive multiplayer online role-playing game, World of Warcraft. A land of elves, fantasy, and eight million players, Warcraft can now also claim it has inspired sex between men and women in eighty pounds of hand-crafted armor. And no matter what kind of protection you're packing, in real life that much metal has got to make things less than magical.
Whorelore, now in its second season, started in 2006 as Dez’s “labor of love.” He’d already starred in over 600 porn titles—most famously, he says, Rectal Rooter and Dez’s Dirty Weekend—before venturing behind the camera. “Whorelore had always been something I wanted to do,” he explains. “I’ve been playing Dungeons & Dragons since the time I was eight, and I love World of Warcraft. Besides, I was bored doing Gonzo porn. [In the past] they’ve done porn with knights and bare maidens and stuff like that, but they’ve never added magic or anything cool.” So Dez decided to “step it up a notch,” throwing in low-grade special effects, a storyline, and a geek’s affectionate attention to detail. Originally he called his new project Whorecraft, but had to change the title due to some hush-hush legal flack from “you know who.” Read: Blizzard Entertainment, the company that runs World of Warcraft and looks out for its good name. (A Blizzard spokesperson declined to comment on the name change, saying the company doesn't publicly discuss legal issues.)
A little legal action hasn’t stopped Dez from accomplishing his goal to show the world how hot it’d be if WOW's sensual elves swallowed. And Whorelore doesn’t stop at sweet elf love. Often shot outdoors for a more rustic, “medieval” feel, the six, half-hour episodes in season one feature everything from two armor-clad, busty blonde warriors making out on a boulder to a masturbating troll (i.e. a woman painted entirely green moaning with a Jamaican accent). Playing off an old video game joke, Dez called episode one "Rogues Do it From Behind," and episode four, “Man Hunt,” has Dez’s characters encountering a real live bear--though, thankfully, it doesn’t join in on the fun. The second season of six more 30-minute episodes is still in production, but the Whorelore website describes it as a struggle between light and dark, with a villain “capable of vanquishing those who thrive for harmony.” Don’t worry, that just means there’s a magical nympho who likes to deep-throat elf ears.
Unlike other porn productions, which frequently get shot in under a day, Dez says each Whorelore installment takes a week to film, and over a month to prepare. In his series, the performers actually attempt to act (some more successfully than others), entire scenes are staged with no sexual contact (just traipsing around dusty terrain), and sometimes the cast spends hours learning choreographed fights. Then there are the props and costumes—which have to seem authentically fantastic. That means no running sneakers or tighty whities. “It’s a nightmare,” Dez admits, “[Orchestrating] all the little trinkets and scrolls and pots and jewelry. . . We rented a castle once in Hollywood Hills, and a light-switch snuck into that episode. A real castle, and I guess they had a light switch.” The important thing to remember, he says, is that while Whorelore may be a lot of fun, it’ll never to be perfect. “It’s not a real movie, it’s porn.”
Though Dez’s passion for gaming inspired the series, he’s not the only Whorelore employee with a MMORPG habit. “A number of the girls play World of Warcraft,” he admits when asked to confirm a report that he’s gotten his actresses hooked on the online world. “I actually just got a new girl from there,” says Dez. “She’s really good at the game, too. She contacted me, and I was like, ‘She’s hot!’ and now she’s going to be in the second season. She’s moving down to L.A. soon to start her porn career.” While not every Whorelore fan is destined to appear on-camera in see-through panties and renaissance-fair boots, lots of World of Warcraft players have sent Dez scripts they’d like to see acted out. “I get stuff daily from people who want all kinds of crazy stuff!” His most recent submission: a sex scene with a minotaur.
All seven finished episodes of Whorelore are available online for 7.99 to $8.99. So far, despite illegal downloading, Dez says the series is selling great. “If you put all six episodes from the first season together and actually said it was a DVD,” something he’s thinking of doing once he’s done the second season, “I’d say we have one of the best-selling movies of all time.”
As for that elf ear deep-throating, whose idea was it to swallow a plastic appendage? “That was actually [the actress’s] idea,” explains Dez. “She was like, ‘Oh my God I want to suck on these things,’ so I was like, ‘Alright, let’s go with it.” Don’t worry though, he says, she’s a “big gamer,” so she can take it. “She can play Guitar Hero on hard.” Pun fully intended.
