Wednesday, May 21, 2008

haha

A Movie Review (from Jesus H. Chris on April 29th, 2008)

I have seen some terrible movies in my time. Independence Day, Armageddon, Titanic, The Departed…the list goes on. But tonight, in a bout of insomnia, i managed to watch 1 hour, 11 minutes and 58 seconds of what has to be the all-time King of all terrible, useless, obnoxious, stupid, insipid, horrid, putrid, fetid, utter shit movies: Transformers. Don’t ask me why i even tried. Just don’t. It’s not important. All i know is that my eyes actually smell like shit right now thanks to this visual bus-station toilet called a movie. I have in the past jokingly implied that violence should be visited upon those who have enjoyed such sad films. The joke is over. I hereby truly encourage people to hunt down every single person involved in the making of the Transformers movie (and their extended family members — including children and grandparents) and actually kill them. Literally. If you yourself enjoyed this movie (or were merely ambivalent about it), please consider killing yourself by nail-gunning your own eviscera to your own stupid face while sitting naked on a pail of bees you idiot.

Thank you for reading my movie review.

11 comments:

Unknown said...

Man, I guess you really didn't like the movie then...I guess I shouldn't watch it...Thanks dude.

Ditka666 said...

It's not Poti's review.

Benizzle said...

I am not a violent dude, but I share your sentiment. I would reduce the punishment to just shaving the eyebrows of anyone involved in the production; that way people on the street would go "look there's one of the dicks that contributed to that horrid fick, let's kick his balls!"

rat said...

Fuck that shit. I LOVED transformers.
I regressed to the state of an 8 year old while watching it. It was my kid memories up on the big screen in high def. The fx were eye candy. I fell deeply in love with Megan Fox, who is eye crack.
That reviewer is a funny dumbass, or preferred to watch She-Ra when he was young.
I'm willing to bet he's one of those pricks that doesn't watch movies and only watches *films*.
Optimus Prime is the LORD! (have mercy)

ba bo bo ba bit

The Laughing Man said...

I watch porn, and its great!

Pastor del Compas said...

reviewer: chris hannah

Capt. Gallinazo said...

i guess no one "captated" that chris hannah wrote the review .. heheh

i'm with tha rat... transformers ruled.. megan fox is a fuckin foxette...

and i liked the departed as well hahaha

Manoher said...

I met this Hannah Fellah and he freaked me out. But I think the feeling is mutual.

Ditka666 said...

Who the fuck is Chris Hannah?

The Laughing Man said...

the least you can do if you dont know is look it up in wikipedia

Ditka666 said...

I guess he's not related to Jen Hannah.